Appearance of a Dayak woman from Kalimantan. Photo credit: FB Aku Dayak / courtesy.
Over the past 15 plus years, our team at BorneoTravel.id has traveled deep into West Kalimantan, staying in longhouses and spending time with Dayak communities.
One thing that never fails to impress us is the strength, resilience, and quiet beauty of Dayak women.
This is not some flashy how-to guide or sensational story. It is a genuine share from our firsthand experiences.
We have slept in longhouses, shared meals, and learned directly from families in places like the Ketungau region, Sintang, and beyond.
We hope it helps you visit with the right mindset and appreciation if you are planning a trip to Borneo.
What stands out about Dayak women
Dayak women are truly the backbone of their communities. From early morning in the fields to caring for the family and weaving intricate mats or crafts in the afternoon, their days are full. In the longhouses, we have often seen mothers carrying babies while still joining conversations and laughing freely with everyone.
What strikes us most is their resilience. As palm oil plantations continue to shrink the surrounding forests, many Dayak women are stepping up to protect traditional farming practices and pass down knowledge about medicinal plants and forest rituals to the younger generation.
One moment we will never forget happened in March 2026 at a small longhouse near the Ketungau River. A woman named Inai Abang Seguna showed us how she makes traditional rice powder for skincare. She smiled and said, "It is not just for looking beautiful. It also protects your skin from mosquito bites and the harsh sun."
Little details like that are what you cannot get from videos or guidebooks.
Etiquette for visitors
After visiting so many times, these are the unwritten rules we always remind ourselves and our travel companions about.
- Respect Personal Space
A longhouse is a shared home for many families. The open front area (called the ruai) is where people gather to talk, drink, and socialize. But the family rooms are private spaces. We once almost made an awkward mistake when one of our team members started walking toward a family’s private area out of curiosity to see the weaving. Luckily, a local gently pulled us back and quietly said it was not appropriate. Since then, we always ask first: "Is it okay if I look here?" or "Mind if I take a photo?" If you want to take pictures with locals, just ask politely with a smile. Some will happily agree, others might prefer not to. Respect their answer. It makes all the difference between being remembered as a good guest or just another tourist passing through. - Don’t Play with People’s Feelings
In Dayak culture, relationships and personal dignity are taken seriously. The women, whether young or older, play a central role in the family and cultural preservation. Flirting or making jokes that could be misunderstood is not just inappropriate. It can make the whole atmosphere uncomfortable. We saw this happen once with another visitor who got a little too friendly with one of the girls. The next morning, things felt noticeably cooler even though people stayed polite. That experience taught us a clear lesson: Come as a respectful guest, leave as someone they remember fondly. Be warm, but keep appropriate boundaries. - Learn a Few Basic Greetings and Local Rules
You do not need to speak fluent Dayak, but a few simple words can go a long way: - Say "Salamat" when you first arrive. - When offered food or tuak (traditional rice wine), smile and say "Thank you so much." Maybe add "This is really good" even if your mouth is burning from the spice. - Practical rules to remember: Always take off your shoes before entering the longhouse. If food is offered, take at least a little bit as a sign of respect. Do not refuse bluntly. Never touch sacred items like the mandau (traditional sword) or ritual objects without permission. If there is a small ceremony happening, stay quiet and observe respectfully. We usually bring small gifts like instant coffee, sugar, or cigarettes for the elders. It is not required, but it is our way of saying thank you for welcoming us so warmly.
What we have taken home from these experiences every time we leave a longhouse, we feel a little more humble.
The Dayak women have taught us about quiet strength, community support, and living in harmony with nature. These lessons go way beyond tourism.
If you are heading to West Kalimantan, we strongly recommend approaching these communities with an open heart. It is not just about getting great photos for Instagram. It is about showing real respect and coming away with something meaningful.
About the Author
Written by Masri Sareb Putra and the borneotravel.id Team. We are a small group with over 15 years of hands-on experience documenting and exploring the culture and nature of West Kalimantan. All photos and stories in this article come directly from our own journeys
Written by Masri Sareb Putra and the borneotravel.id Team. We are a small group with over 15 years of hands-on experience documenting and exploring the culture and nature of West Kalimantan. All photos and stories in this article come directly from our own journeys
